Thirty Degrees of Separation

Whilst Bangalore is a ‘connected’ IT capital is still easy to feel remote from the rest of the world – especially if you occasionally forget to pay your ISP bill! and end up having to use an internet ‘café’ with cubicles that makes you feel extreme empathy for veal calves.

Earlier this week as the UK (well the South East) suffered its heaviest snowfalls for years and little else filled the airways - I was confined to barracks airing my knees in the garden in 30 deg + heat to facilitate the healing process. They are looking a lot better (thank you for asking). Using this forced reflection period I concluded that the trick is, I think, to stay grounded in where you are living, but sufficiently connected to where you are from. As I can’t resist lists – here are my ten top tips for staying connected with your roots whilst living in India (plus a little something extra for the gadgee).

1. Refer to waiters, shop assistants etc as gadgees as often as possible
2. Occasionally wear socks and sandals
3. Talk to your staff as if they are real people
4. Avoid any events with more than 3 expats present
5. Listen to at least 30 mins of Radio 4 comedy per day – preferably the News Quiz or ISIHAC
6. Use the Mantra ‘Whilst the Maldives are lovely – I would rather be in Alnmouth’ regularly
7. Remember that you used to find ironing somewhat therapeutic
8. Read the UK economic news regularly
9. Catch any head wiggling tendencies early
10. Continue to wear shorts and T-shirt when the Indians wrap up in scarves and balaclavas against the bitter 15 deg C winter nights
11. Keep the ‘sail before steam’ principle alive whilst sharing the roads as a pedestrian with the traffic

The original border reiver’s allegiance to family was always greater than to any country. I am afraid I don’t buy into the notion that you take on family responsibilities for your staff in India – anyway ours are far too well behaved and probably less than 50% of the required weight to remotely qualify as a member of this family.